Self-analysis

I'd like to say that I am an independent woman. I'd like to believe that I am strong and capable of rising through any darkness. I'd like to brag that regardless of any negativity around me, I will strive. I'd like to say that regardless of people's rudeness, coldness, and insensitivity, I am still who I am. But, it's not always like that... I can't always win, I can't always end up intact at the end of a battle. Lately, in special, I feel emotionally wea -. I feel like I weigh as little as a paper and anything brings me down... Words, gestures, or the lack thereof - it has reflected tremendously in my life more than I'd like to confess. I remember a few years back when none of that mattered or affected me... What happened? I am not sure which one is worse or better. To care or not to care. I feel honored that yes, I do have emotions and I show them. But then at the same time I wonder if what I am receiving is the product of what I am sending? I don't want to be negative, I don't want to be cocky, rude, or act as if I am above all. I want to be humble, to feel touched by the simple things... I don't want to feel motivated by luxury and money. I want to be a more simple me. Sometimes I feel like the world has worn me out a little... and I am becoming a different person... sometimes I feel that is for the better... it's good to change right... but maybe that isn't the best of changes...
I guess the reason why this topic started is because I feel alone at times and everyone has gone away. Maybe I shouldn't care too much about what the world sends my way, rather I should care about what I am sending to the world.
This is a reminder for me to be kind even when I feel someone doesn't deserve it. To be LOVING, even when someone has shown me hatred. To be HUMBLE, even when the world tells me that what holds value are things, and not our character... This is a reminder to always be SELF-GIVING, even when I feel like I should think of myself sometimes. This is a reminder to never JUDGE others, even when everybody is pointing fingers.This is a reminder for me to TRUST, even though the world has doubted me. This is reminder for to be GO AGAINST THE CURRENT, even thought it's much easier to follow the crowd.