Thanksgiving.

In the last two thanksgiving, I had a lot to be thankful for. It was first thanksgiving ever in 2010, so I couldn't be happier!  - I was experiencing something new every day, I had a host family who showed me love and made me feel special. In my very first thanksgiving, I was cooking, and baking, and eating, and visiting, and laughing, and LIVING! I was truly thankful for being exactly where I was. My life had finally been what I was dreaming for two years, and I finally had it! The best part was, I was genuinely happy ON MY OWN. I didn't need anybody, I didn't need to date anyone - I was busy, was super active in school and in my brand new community. I was loving life.

That brings us to my second thanksgiving. Possibly - I mean, certainly - the best thanksgiving so far. I spent about seven days in Northern California, in Eureka with my favorite, kindest, funniest, most loving, and most beautiful American family I have known. I spent every minute of every day for a week with the people I loved the most. It was the first holiday get-together of many, many to come - or so I thought... We ate sushi, went to the beach, saw a rainbow, went to the zoo, went hiking, went running, got the freshed apple juice I ever had, went to amazing restaurant, walked in the rain, listened to the choir, baked, cooked, held hands, hugged, laughed, GAVE THANKS. Every day, I would wake up and pinch myself and ask what I had done to deserve something so great! I had everything - I had God with me, I had a family I could call my own, I had the most loving boyfriend, I was going to college and doing what I loved. Wow! What a difference from the year prior! I was happy, but it was a different happy than in 2011. I was HAPPY, IN PEACE, AND CONTENT - the big difference was that I FINALLY, FINALLY, after one year and a half of constant quest... I finally felt truly HOME. The feeling of being home had not been familiar to me for a long time, not even when I was in Brazil! That's why I was so, so, so happy.

Which brings us to thanksgiving of 2012. Here I am, sitting on the coach I used to sit, laugh, and be happy. I am now writing with a nostalgic setting. Now, I see myself alone again - but in a different way. I don't have a family here to call my own. However, I see myself the most independent I've ever been, I see myself accomplishing things I never thought I was able to, I see myself becoming an adult. I never imagined myself being where I am. This year has been a tough year, with a lot of struggles. I have had some happy moments, however, but mainly it was a struggle year. I see my life turning around in a totally different way soon. As of today, I have a hard time thinking about what I should be thankful for. I have been asking this question for the past two weeks and I am still trying to find the answer. Love? Life? Independency? My education? Possibly. However, I think the best answer for me this year is STRUGGLE. It's all about perspective! I am thankful for the tough times, because they are shaping who I am. I still haven't fully seen the results of my struggles, but I can see progress. I believe that as long as I am moving forward, it's a good thing. I am progressing, I am trying to make it every day, I am trying to get better. I hope in a year I will look back and smile and be happy for never giving up.



Psalm 136:1 ~ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.