A grain of sand

Rolling down the mounds of sand clusters of our life
breaking me down the grain of sand that is 
hidden essence of our life
the lifelong journey from one grain to unite and become as one pile of sand
is the way we work
and the way we live
Plain emotions that have no feeling
run through my head 
simplistic in your head
but when you try to leave them and let others see
you have to literally bear your fingers and untie the knots of the sticky words
as they roll of your tongue you see hesitation of your lips as you try to pull them back
and once again 
you are rolling down the sand mounds
but you are only a grain of sand
trying to explain
and translate your life
to the pound of sand

The duplicity of love.

Love can be scary sometimes. It can hurt. Such pain can bring you to the deepest bottom,  it can bring you to waters so deep you will drawn even before you ever reach the bottom.

But love can bring you to the highest mountains, you can fly so high you won’t even be able to see the ground.

Encountering both situations have gotten me rather confused than sad or hurt. I have experienced the ecstasy of love, as well as the black-and-white side of love, the one that reaps you apart without hesitating and deteriorates every hope in you.

One of the things that I wonder the most about this devious subject is: How does love – something so beautiful – can change into something so cruel, something that brings tears to your eyes, and darkness to your soul? How do people go from being completely in love, so enticed by the moment, to giving up on everything? It is almost like they have been brain washed. Gambling with love is a tricky business, and we always end up paying with our hearts.

The duplicity of love renders me spechless more often that I would like to admit. Truly, love is a double-edged sword - it can hurt you or inspire you.

When does one give up? Sometimes it's better to leave broken hearts broken than hurting yourself fixing it back together. How do we know the fine line between leaving and staying? How do we know when to say enough, when to say "I have given my all"? Or when do we say "this is worth it - you are worth the pain"?

I guess the answer for this question might be somewhat ironic... the answer is a personal observation and analysis of your own being and your own feelings. How profound, sincere, and pure is your love? Are you truly in love? Is your love selfless? To a point that you can give up on yourself for the sake of your lover?

I guess is just like how the Beatles once said... 

"From this moment on I know

Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love

Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's real love, it's real
Yes it's real love, it's real

Thought I'd been in love before
But in my heart, I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you"

That's when you know. 
We experience real love whenever we manage to love without expectations, calculations, negotiations, when we close our mouths but somehow manage to communicate in a hundred silent ways. As we live deeper in the heart, the mirror gets clearer and cleaner. And so does our lives.

Ellie Goulding - The Writer

You wait for a silence

I wait for a word

Lying next to your frame

Girl unobserved

You change your position

And you're changing me

Casting these shadows

Where they shouldn't be

We're interrupted

By the heat of the sun

Trying to prevent

What's already begun

Oh, you're just a body

I can smell your skin

And when we feel it

You're wearing thin

Oh, but I've got a plan

And why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

'Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it's too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

Sat on your sofa

It's all broken springs

This isn't the place for

Those violin strings

Oh, I try out a smile

And I aim it at you

Oh, you must have missed it

You always do

Oh, but I've got a plan

And why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Oh, why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

‘Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

'Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

Why don’t you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don’t you be the writer?

And decide the words to say?

‘Cause I’d rather pretend

I’ll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

What is important...

At times our lives are set to change 

Through no fault of our own,

A change you know will break your heart

And maybe others too

But what is more important?

To live a life in fear

Or change and live the life you should

With someone you hold dear?

Everyone needs freedom 

To live the life they should

They need to find their inner selves

And make themselves feel good

If a person can’t see what they can have

Right before their eyes

When reality hits and everything is once again gone,

You will know that I was truly the only one

Full of emptiness.

You know a life of loneliness and one filled with pain

Living a life with nothing to gain

Surrounded by darkness

Overwhelmed with shame

A life without peace

With no one to blame

I don't wanna live a life

Full of emptiness

Snow Patrol - Chasing Stars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Love Is...

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.

I've learned that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved. 

Love isn't always perfect. It isn't a fairy-tale or a storybook and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together.

Waiting

I will wait

But I never said I won't be hurting

I will wait

I know it will be worth it

In the late hours,

I perform a ritual...

Sit in bed, put my glasses on, open my book, read a paragraph... start to daze

How much can I wait?

It's rather frustrating

To keep my emotions in

To hide behind my feelings

And keep the truth locked away

When everything seems to be exploding, bursting out

Don't want to let the future go by

While I am just waiting... quietly

Passenger - Let Her Go

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much

And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)

Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

One Republic - Counting Stars

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Yeah, we'll be counting stars

I see this life

Like a swinging vine

Swing my heart across the line

In my face is flashing signs

Seek it out and ye shall find

Old, but I'm not that old

Young, but I'm not that bold

And I don't think the world is sold

I'm just doing what we're told

I feel something so right

Doing the wrong thing

I feel something so wrong

Doing the right thing

I could lie, could lie, could lie

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be, we'll be counting stars

I feel the love

And I feel it burn

Down this river every turn

Hope is a four letter word

Make that money

Watch it burn

Old, but I'm not that old

Young, but I'm not that bold

And I don't think the world is sold

I'm just doing what we're told

And I feel something so wrong

Doing the right thing

I could lie, could lie, could lie

Everything that downs me makes me wanna fly

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be, we'll be counting stars

Take that money

Watch it burn

Sink in the river

The lessons I learned

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

Baby I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be, we'll be counting stars

Take that money

Watch it burn

Sink in the river

The lessons I learned