The dream

Last night I had a dream that I was talking to a psychologist. During my appointment, I talked to her about my fears and concerns, especially the one regarding change. I explained her how I eagerly seek adventures, but at the same time I am scared of my own adventures leading me to loneliness. The psychologist began to explain that how her cat would always look outside the window at her house and seemed to want to play, but every time she would open the door for him, he wouldn't go. He was scared. She, then, decided to force her cat to go outside, and she even put a mouse outside so he could maybe try to chase the mouse and have fun with it. After he would caught the mouse, he would have nothing else to do, but that would just mean he would have to open his horizons again and go explore and maybe find a tree to climb. After my psychologist explained this to me, she said our session was over, but I was making progress and she would like to see me again. She also added that "It took me awhile to understand what my cat needed, but I think you're like my cat, You just need to go outside". I then smiled at her and left the room, feeling very hopeful. After my appointment, I went to the beach to sail and to think about what she had told me. It was then that I woke up.

The whole idea behind this dream is too ironic. Me, Cecilia, talking to a psychologist (who is my subconscious). A conversation between Me and Myself. You know those times you wish you could talk to your older self? It was a very similar feeling. When I woke up, I had to just lie in bed for awhile, thinking about this whole thing. The more I think about it, the more I have questions and the more I want to have another appointment. 

The ultimate destination.

I think a lot about home. The idea of home. What is home to me right now? When I spend a long amount of time without going back to Brazil, I miss it a lot and want to go back there. But then, when I am there, I realize I don't fit in necessarily.
Have I found home? What is Home? Is home a different idea to each person? My quest in life is to find my ultimate destination. Not necessarily to make a lot of money or be extremely successful. Just to find home, be home. I know the rest will come to me once I find home.
I will know once I find home. Is home with my PARENTS? When will I go back to them? I want to be near my parents so bad, and know that one day I will be, because they will need me. But, should I pursue my dream first?
Should I find home in love? They say if you follow your dreams, love will always follow you. Is this so? Because it surely doesn't feel like that to me. It seems like it's either one or the other. Love can be your dreams, and dreams can be your love. And both can be home. These two for me are in opposite directions.
I hit a little limbo stage, just waiting for things to change. Then I will find home. I hope this next year will bring some answers that have been clogging up my mind for the past 3 years and a half. I want to be home, so badly. Wherever that is. I just need to find it. And settle in. "Go or leave". "Come or stay". Is there a choice? I don't think I have much saying in this. The answer will unfold itself out sooner rather than later, I hope.

Coldplay - trouble

Oh, no, I see

The spider web is tangled up with me

And I lost my head

The thought of all the stupid things I'd said

Oh, no, what's this?

The spider web, and I'm caught in the middle

So I turn to run

And thought of all the stupid things I'd done

And I never meant to cause you trouble

I never meant to do you wrong

And, ah, well, if I ever caused you trouble

Oh, no I never meant to do you harm

Oh, no, I see

The spider web, and it's me in the middle

So I twist and turn

But here am I in my little bubble

Singing out

I never meant to cause you trouble

I never meant to do you wrong

And ah, well if I ever caused you trouble

Oh, no, I never meant to do you harm

They spun a web for me

They spun a web for me

They spun a web for me

I love how songs speak to me. Lately, this has been my source of inspiration to reflect on life.

This song came up on pandora today while I was doing several tasks on my computer.  It caught my attention when the singer kept repeating "I never meant to cause you trouble"... Hmmm. This seems to be a recurring issue in my life. I seem to say things and act  a certain way without meaning it. I say or do things that hurt others, but I don't mean it.
I also seem to find myself in a "spider web". Stuck. I am stuck, or should I say conflicted? I feel tangled in between two different outcomes I can take in my life. I think about it almost every day. I wonder what should I do? I ask around, but it doesn't seem like there is one right answer? I am confused, I am stuck in a spider web. Sometimes I feel like I am sure of what to do, but then my decision takes a 180º spin. 

Passenger - let her go

Well, you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun when it’s starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

'Cuz dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely, it dies

But you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun, when it’s starts to snow

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same ol’ empty feeling in your heart

'Cuz love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But to never to touch and never to keep

'Cuz you loved her to much

And you dive too deep

Well, you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun, when it’s starts to snow

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

And you let her go

Ooooo ooooo oooooo

And you let her go

Ooooooo ooooo ooooo

Well you let her go

'Cuz you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun, when it’s starts to snow

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

Only know you love her when you've let her go

'Cuz you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun, when it’s starts to snow

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

Only know you love her when you’ve let her go

And you let her go

Wow. This song. It's amazing. I get chills every time I hear this song. I can relate to this song in a few different ways, and I just love it how it speaks to me. First off, when I first came to the US, I really didn't care of what I was "letting go of" in Brazil, which were my parents, my home, my family, my comfort zone. I just simply let go of everything very easily. But then, it only took my first tribulation for me to miss my family, to understand the actual value that they had in my heart. I am not saying I didn't love my parents, but I surely didn't appreciate them the way I should have. This is truly something I regret, but I am glad I have realized how much they mean to me before it was too late. 

Secondly, when it says "everything you touch, it surely dies"... I feel that this has been the truth for my life. I will always have this thought in the back of my head... that I can't keep my dreams alive, I can't keep love alive, I can't keep people around for long. Well, I mean, besides a few long term friendships here and there, my life has proven me that this is true. I don't know if it's me or something I do, or that I have high expectations, but I feel like people eventually get bored of the same old, and when I can't give anything new, they leave. Work, friendships, relationships. I don't like having this mindset, but it always creeps up in the back of my head every now and then. And this sentiment kind of ties with my last post, that I give too much. "I love too much and I dive too deep" ... Maybe the reason that I feel this way is because I don't feel needed at times, and I feel replacable. I know I shouldn't need that feeling from people, but I do. I pray that I can become less dependent on people and more dependent on God, because He is the one who loves me the most.

Unconditionally - Katy Perry

Oh, no, did I get too close?

Oh, did I almost see

What’s really on the inside?

All your insecurities

All the dirty laundry

Never made me blink one time

Unconditional, unconditionally

I will love you unconditionally

There is no fear now

Let go and just be free

I will love you unconditionally

Come just as you are to me

Don’t need apologies

Know that you are worthy

I'll take your bad days with your good

Walk through this storm, I would

I’d do it all because I love you, I love you

Unconditional, unconditionally

I will love you unconditionally

There is no fear now

Let go and just be free

I will love you unconditionally

So open up your heart, and just let it begin

Open up your heart, and just let it begin

Open up your heart, and just let it begin

Open up your heart

Acceptance is the key to be

To be truly free

Will you do the same for me?

Unconditional, unconditionally

I will love you unconditionally

And there is no fear now

Let go and just be free

‘Cause I will love you unconditionally (oh, yeah)

I will love you

I will love you

I will love you

Unconditionally

I loved this song since the first time I ever heard it. It touched me so deeply in so many different ways. Everytime I hear, I feel something different. This may sound silly because Katy Perry is a pop artist, and most of the pop culture music are very shallow material and have no deeper meaning. But this song made me think of so many things when I first heard it. This song actually reminds me of the love of God for us. He loves us unconditionally. He loves us even with our insecurities, our shortcomings, our sins, and bad behavior. All we need to do is accept Him. To open our hearts. This is a fairly easy concept to understand in theory, but it is a lot easier said than done.Why can't we accept unconditional love? Why don't we want this ever lasting love? Why are we always trying to find a escape? I also have a hard time understanding that God loves me unconditionally and that no matter what I do, where I am, he loves me the same. Just because my walk with Christ might be a little shaken, He still loves me. I just can't stop being amazed at that. If someone starts to ignore you, and not care about how much you love them, you would eventually get tired of such treatment and just walk away if nothing would change. But God doesn't do that. We have so many flaws. But he still loves us. Wow. This is amazing. This also happens on a personal level in relationhips. At least in my case, I have a hard time understanding someone loves me just the way I am. I know nobody will ever be able to love me uncontionally the way God does, but I still have a hard time just grasping the fact that someone loves me. I always think they will find something or someone better and eventually leave. Sometimes I like to have this mindset, because it keeps me from greater suffering. At least this year, it has spared me fro msomething that I think could have turned out to be something a lot bigger and more painful. I was able to cope and put in my head that people eventually will just leave and I am on my own, and the only people I have are my parents.

Another thing about this music is that although I think nobody on Earth will ever love us the way God does, I feel like I do a lot of things out of passion and love and I end up loving "too much" (as many have told me). I think when I love, I can't love half way, I can't care half way. I just do it 100%. I love with all my heart. And, sometimes I feel like I walk this road alone. I feel scared of how much I put myself out there, I don't care how much I might be hurt, but I would rather to be hurt than be regretful of not giving my all. 

I pray that I can still find love in everything I do. Because if there is no love, there is no purpose. I pray that I can understand and accept God's love for me. I pray that I can walk safely in any path, even if felt alone, because I know I have God's love.

Pride hurts

In everyone's life, there are always a few events or moments that we just cannot forget. These moments may be unforgettable due to pain, happiness, or pivotal events.
Although happy moments will always bring us smiles, it is the pain and sadness that seem to linger longer in our memory. We seem to always neglect or understimate our happy phases, and just say "I was happy", and move on. When it comes to the sad moments, we always seem to wonder and create several possibilities as to why things ended up the way they did, and what did we do wrong. And keep blaming ourselves for everything.
I seem, every now and then, to remember that boy who made me feel worthless. That moment that I regret so much when I said things I really didn't mean to my brother, that moment when I was mean to my mom and dad. Those moments. They hurt a lot - especially the ones that I know I was the cause of pain. And they hurt even more because I am far away. Being away doesn't get easier with time, as I thought it would. It just gets worse. It gets worse because I don't know when (or if ever) I am going to be with them again. It hurts. What can I do?
I guess the answer to that is to just learn with my mistakes. But it seems like I can't do that very well. That night when my dad got home from a long trip and he brought me a new pair of PJs. I stood on top of the stairs looking down on my dad, REJECTING HIS GIFT. I can't even think about this moment without my eyes watering. I don't even know if my dad even remembers this, but I do. I was probably six or seven years old, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember how those PJs looked like. Eventually, after much begging from my father, I accepted his gift, with an ungrateful, angry expression. Eventually, I started wearing those PJs every day - until there was big holes on them and I couldn't possibly wear it anymore. Why was I so angry? Because he hadn't been home? Well, he was now. Why didn't I enjoy his presence instead of holding grudges? I don't know. But I seem to STILL do the fucking same thing today. When somebody hurts me, even if they have turned around and done something nice to me, I JUST SEEM TO HOLD TO ANYTHING THAT HURTS. Why do I do that? I guess this is just a rant, as I want to change whatever force within me obliges me to hold on to those moments. Pride? Or just plain stupid?
God, please help me let go of those things - they don't do any good. I hope I can become a better person, and I need You to guide me and help me discern what to do so I can let go of my pride.

Some thoughts going through my head...

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 
― Marilyn Monroe

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” 
― Elie Wiesel





More than once have I doubted myself. More than once have I made mistakes. Despite all of that, I am always trying to be truthful to myself and my heart. Is it much to expect the same from others? I am aware that I do mess up on a daily basis. The thing is: I am not tired of failures/mistakes, I am tired of people thinking THEY ARE a failure. We are not defined by our mistakes and shortcomings. We should love ourselves despite our shortcomings, so should we love OTHERS despite THEIR shortcomings. Again, the problem here is not our failures and shortcomings. The problem here is ACTION, should I say the lack of. I think it would be rather obvious, taken that we are cognitive thinkers, to learn from our mistakes and take action against future similar failures. This concept, however, just doesn't seem to depict quite right in real life and, especially not according to my personal experiences.
A bigger issue than that, sometimes, is... indifference. MLK once said that our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. I am sure he had a very different view on how this phrase was applicable back in the days to society. To me, however, silence means no actions. We become indifferent to the people who surround us if we don't take ACTION. Although words matter a lot, actions are worth twice as much. 
I am not attacking, I am not fighting against anyone. This is not a battle against our own pride, this is not a battle trying to overcome our failures (because truth is... there is always going to be mistakes and failures). I am fighting this FOR YOU, FOR US. But I don't want to fight a battle on my own. 

More insight

9 Important Communication Skills for Every Relationship

Effective communication is critical to successful relationships. Researchers and therapists have found at least nine skills that can help couples learn to talk effectively about important issues (Gottman 1994; Markman, Stanley, and Blumberg 2010; Schramm and Harris 2011). How we interact about issues such as time spent together/apart, money, health, gender differences, children, family, friends, commitment, trust, and intimacy affects our ability to develop and maintain lasting marital friendships. If learned well, these nine skills can help put our relationships on a positive trajectory for success. (Note: The word "marriage" is interchangeable with "relationship," if you are not married.)

Helpful Information

What do couples talk about?

Time Together/Apart. Both the quantity and quality of time we spend together influence the well-being of our marital friendships. Spending time apart participating in other activities also influences the well-being of our relationships.

Money. How we think and talk about money, our spending habits, and our ability to budget, invest, and plan for the future impact couple financial management processes and practices.

Health. Couples must talk about many health-related issues, including nutrition, exercise, illness, disease, accidents, health care, mortality, and death.

Men/Women. Because men tend to be more task-oriented in their communication styles and women tend to be more process-oriented, men tend to want to solve issues immediately, while women tend to want to talk about them more and come to a consensus about what should be done.

Children. How children develop physically, socially, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually are often topics of discussion. Focusing on the best ways to consistently meet children's needs is considered being child-centered.

Family/In-Laws/Friends. Couples often talk about situations and circumstances surrounding the interactions they have with their closest relationships.

What do couples communicate when they are communicating?

Commitment. How we "hang in there" and contribute to our marital friendship, even when things aren't going particularly well, is a sign of how committed we are to our relationship. Loyalty and fidelity are aspects of commitment and trust.

Trust. Trusting relationships are relationships in which both partners are dependable, available to support each other, and responsive to each other's needs. An ability to negotiate conflict and a positive outlook about the future of the relationship are also components of trust.

Intimacy. The social, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical connections we make with each other determine the levels of intimacy we experience in our relationships.

What do couples argue about?

Because the items listed above are some of the major topics couples talk about, it follows that they are also the same topics that can spur disagreements. For instance, it is a familiar joke that people can have difficulties in their relationships with in-laws. Take for example, “What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Answer: One is 'Wanted!'” Sayings such as these underscore the importance of knowing how your relationships with others can affect your marriage and could potentially become the topic of a marital conflict.

Control and Power. Control and power are highly associated with the topics couples argue about. Indeed, control and power issues are the foundation of most conflicts. Typically, one person (or each person) is bent on having his or her own way. The saying "my way or the highway" is a common phrase used by someone with an inflexible perspective. If we see an issue one way and expect everyone else to see it the same way we do, then we are more likely to try to exert power and control over others and sway them to our perspective. Attempting to exert control and power over our partner typically results in win/lose or lose/lose outcomes for our marital friendships.

Some insight.

Why Relationships Fail Due to the Lack of Communication

People Don't Communicate Enough to Eliminate Their Problems

True communication, what exactly is that? Telling your significant other how many times you went to the bathroom while you were at work? What you had for lunch? Real communication isn't explaining your entire day to someone, because frankly, 99% of the time, your days aren't that interesting. True communication spans far beyond spoken words. It's verbal and mental, as well as even physical.

More than half of the failed relationships out there, including your own, are due to the fact that there was a severe lack of communication between the two of you. In order to have a long and lasting relationship with someone, you must have excellent communication skills. You must be able to convey your emotions and your thoughts, as well as being able to absorb your partner's emotions and thoughts.

Communication is definitely not a one-way street. The "phone-lines" must run both ways. You could sit your partner down and talk to him/her all day long about how you feel, and about where you think this relationship is going. But if you don't LISTEN TO THEM, than all of your words are meaningless. Mainly because they know you aren't willing to listen to them, and you will not hear them out because you are too involved with yourself to allow anyone else to join in on the conversation.

The art of listening is probably even more important than the art of talking. You will learn and grow far more in your relationships if you would sit down and listen to your partner, instead of talking and voicing all of your opinions at once. Don't get me wrong; it is very important that you do voice your opinions. But you must listen to THEIR opinions as well, and take them into consideration.

If you feel that you are not hearing from your partner, or they aren't "communicating" with you. Than more than likely they are, but you just aren't listening correctly. Some people don't communicate with words, they communicate through actions. Which, if you pay close enough attention, are far more incisive into what they want to say. But the problem is, most of us don't pay close enough attention.

We are all consumed with our feelings; we focus on what is wrong with THEM. We are hearing what we are saying, and not what they are saying. Thus, we are solving the problem with you, instead of joining with the other person and solving it TOGETHER. I mean, you are dating another person aren't you? So why don't you involve them in your conversations?

"Well, they won't listen what I have to say." Could this be because you say the same thing far too much? If you have to nag them about something, it might be because you don't listen to them, so they aren't going to listen to you. People tend to mirror their surroundings. Though not always applicable, if they aren't listening, it's because you aren't.

From personal experience, you will never go far in your relationships if you are "nagging" your partner to death. Another reason that they aren't listening to anything you say, is because what you are saying frankly isn't important. If you are one of those people that point out every "defect" in a human, than most likely they tuned you out along time ago. You can only sit and listen to someone point out every little problem with you, before you begin to stop listening to them altogether.

You must first take a look at yourself and realize that you are not Miss./Mr. Perfect. You have problems, you have issues, just like everyone else does. Your relationships will go far if you'll stop bringing attention to the minor things that really don't make that big of a difference.

On the other side, if your partner is not listening to you, than there could be something seriously wrong there. Ultimately, the lack of attention narrows down to a lack of respect. You must have respect for the person that you are in a relationship with, and they must have respect for you. If no respect is involved, than you will both be looking at each other as if each of you is less than the other. Which, no one is less than someone. If you are in a relationship that lacks respect, LEAVE, GET OUT, VAMONOS!!!!

Respect is something that is so important in every aspect of life. I mean, even Sister Arethra Franklin sang about it, so you know it's important! A lack of respect equals a lack of communication, which in turn equals the beginning of the end of your relationship.

You must give in order to receive. In order to obtain respect from someone, you must show them that you are respect worthy. You can't just sit there and expect them to automatically respect you. You must show them. How? Prove to them that you are a loyal and honest individual. Be yourself, don't lie, and treat them as you would like to be treated. If that doesn't gain their respect, than something is seriously wrong with them.

"We used to talk all night, but since we've talked so much, we have nothing else to talk about." Well, this is a crossroad that every couple has to go through. You have been together so long, you have spent so much time together, you have ran out of things to talk about. This is very simple to get over. But first, we must look at why you have run out of things to talk about.

Ultimately, if you don't have anything to talk about, you are becoming numb to the individual. If you truly love them, you will always have something to say to them. Even it is just "I love you." Your conversations might not be as dynamic and powerful as they were in the beginning of the relationship. And this is simply because you know each other very well, and before you didn't. So it was automatically exciting and intriguing. But you must realize this, and rest in the fact that you are with this person.

Though you might not have deep thoughts to divulge to this person anymore, because they know them all, you still have things in common. You still have things to discuss. Some couples can sit in a room and not say a word to each other for three hours - and that's fine with them. This is because they are grounded in the foundation of their love, and they know that though they aren't saying anything, they are both thinking about one another.

But if you feel that the lack of constant conversation is hurting your relationship, take the initiative. Make a point to talk with your partner - even if the conversation starts out light and frivolous, it will end on a good note - hopefully. And this will keep you both in each other's minds. Remember, don't wait for them to talk to you - talk to THEM!!

The most vital and important reasons that relationships fail is because they communication that is happening is because people aren't following "The Golden Rule." I know you all know what I'm talking about; we learned it in kindergarten - "Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you." If you follow this statement, your love life as well as every other part will benefit greatly.

But the sad truth is, people aren't honest. They cheat themselves as well as others. They are self-centered jealous feigns. So no wonder none of us have a satisfactory relationship. We must stop and think - how do you want to be treated in a relationship? If you apply your standards of what you want to your partner, they will ultimately reapply them to you. You are in control of how your relationship will be.

In preparation for this book, I interviewed many people. And in my interviews I asked them all the same question, "Why do you think relationships fail?" The responses were all practically the same, "The Lack of Communication."

One response grabbed my attention unlike any other. Upon asking her the above question, her answer was, "Relationships fail if the people don't mesh or aren't able to work as a team. People don't communicate enough to eliminate (their) problems. Some people foolishly bet on physical attraction, which doesn't last or simply looses its flavor like chewing gum. Some fail due to different views on life. Distance also plays a crucial role at times."

She had several extremely great points. Let's investigate them further. "Relationships fail if the people don't mesh…" Meshing, something that if doesn't happen can lead to catastrophic consequences. Meshing means to intertwine oneself with another person. Though at first glance you may think that the two of you are compatible. But further in the relationship you may find that the two of you don't "mesh." Communication between the two of you will quickly advise you of "anti-meshing."

"…[O]r aren't able to work as a team…" Some people are natural-born leaders. They are not programmed to follow, even be on a equal level with another person. Though this world needs leaders, those leaders must learn to work together as a team. What's that saying ultimately is "There's no I in T.E.A.M.", again another saying we learned in kindergarten, but very crucial to a happy and long-lasting relationship.

Some people see the relationship as a Dictatorship, that they will rule, and what they say goes. You could think like this, but you will be ruling over a very, very small Kingdom. A relationship is about two people coming together as equals, and facing the world as two humans as one. Your relationship will not go far if you do not look at each other in equal-eyes, and facing your problems together, as a team. When you join together with someone, you are helpmates; you are two people that will be supportive to each other. And eventually, you will win the relationship Super-Bowl.

"…[P]eople don't communicate enough to eliminate (their) problems…" If you haven't noticed, this comment is the sub-heading for this chapter. This phrase, if read correctly; will solve all of your relationship woes. Every relationship has problems, but most people communicate with each other, and come together as a team to solve the various issues that arise. They either argue about them, not even trying to solve them - or they ignore the problems until the issues become mountainous, and ultimately implode the relationships.

Some people come into a relationship not expecting there to be any problems. So when one pops up, they freak out and bail on the relationship without any second thoughts. Though you might be lucky, and never have any problems with your love life (there are some out there, we'll read about them later), most relationships have there bumps - maybe not huge - but still some roughage. You must realize that this does not mean that your relationship is doomed or that it's a "sign" to drop him or her. You have to work on the problems, COMMUNICATE with your partner. Talk to them, but also LISTEN!!!

"…[S]ome people foolishly bet on physical attraction, which doesn't last or simply looses its flavor like chewing gum…" Though we will go more in-depth about this subject later on, we will touch on it now. I loved how she put it, "[S]ome people foolishly bet on physical attraction…" because basically, it is extremely foolish to base your selection solely on looks and whiteness of teeth. If you do this you will be in danger of not finding that person that is genuinely right for you - because, more than likely, this person that you choose solely on "prettiness" will be just as superficial as you are - or more. So, not only will you have a short and unproductive relationship, you are bound to get hurt in the process. And forget about communication, because if you choose this path for finding your partner, you are completely ignoring the communication aspect. Well, outside the bedroom at least. And let's face it; a good lay will only last so long before it "looses its flavor like chewing gum."

"…[S]ome (relationships) fail due to different views on life…" No matter how cute, how bubbly and outgoing someone's personality is, if the above is involved in your relationship, you can kiss that person goodbye. When it comes down to it, what holds a relationship together is the same views on life. There's a saying that goes, "If you don't have the same vision (in or about life) it leads to division." That phrase is absolutely the truth. Though your relationship may last for a while, if your vision or outlook on life is different, than the two of you will drift apart.

If you take a close look at all of the above, you will see that each one is linked by communication or the lack of it. So when you take a close look at your relationships, communication is the foundation that will strengthen your bond. Without this, your relationship will definitely not be a lasting one.

"Relationships fail due to the lack of communication. I feel that if my first serious relationship had more communication toward our rocky periods, we could have lasted. Yet, not all relationships are meant to last, so we should only accept past relationships as personal lessons. I also feel that each person must know what they want and see if their partner can provide their needs before setting into any type of relationship."

A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera - Say Something

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I'll be the one, if you want me to.

Anywhere, I would've followed you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I am feeling so small.

It was over my head

I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

Anywhere, I would've followed you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

And anywhere, I would have followed you.

Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something...

Experiências...

Num processo de seleção da Volkswagen, os candidatos deveriam responder a seguinte pergunta: 
Você tem experiência? 

A redação abaixo foi desenvolvida por um dos candidatos. Ele foi aprovado e seu texto está fazendo sucesso, e ele com certeza será sempre lembrado por sua criatividade, sua poesia, e acima de tudo por sua alma. 
REDAÇÃO VENCEDORA: 
Já fiz cosquinha na minha irmã só pra ela parar de chorar, já me queimei brincando com vela. Eu já fiz bola de chiclete e melequei todo o rosto, já conversei com o espelho, e até já brinquei de ser bruxo. Já quis ser astronauta, violonista, mágico, caçador e trapezista. Já me escondi atrás da cortina e esqueci os pés pra fora... Já passei trote por telefone. Já tomei banho de chuva e acabei me viciando. Já roubei beijo. Já confundi sentimentos. Peguei atalho errado e continuo andando pelo desconhecido. Já raspei o fundo da panela de arroz carreteiro, já me cortei fazendo a barba apressado, já chorei ouvindo música no ônibus. Já tentei esquecer algumas pessoas, mas descobri que essas são as mais difíceis de esquecer. Já subi escondido no telhado pra tentar pegar estrelas, já subi em árvore pra roubar fruta, já caí da escada de bunda. Já fiz juras eternas, já escrevi no muro da escola, já chorei sentado no chão do banheiro, já fugi de casa pra sempre, e voltei no outro instante. Já corri pra não deixar alguém chorando, já fiquei sozinho no meio de mil pessoas sentindo falta de uma só.

Já vi pôr-do-sol cor-de-rosa e alaranjado, já me joguei na piscina sem vontade de voltar, já bebi uísque até sentir dormentes os meus lábios, já olhei a cidade de cima e mesmo assim não encontrei meu lugar. Já senti medo do escuro, já tremi de nervoso, já quase morri de amor, mas renasci novamente pra ver o sorriso de alguém especial. Já acordei no meio da noite e fiquei com medo de levantar. Já apostei em correr descalço na rua, já gritei de felicidade, já roubei rosas num enorme jardim. Já me apaixonei e achei que era para sempre, mas sempre era um 'para sempre' pela metade. Já deitei na grama de madrugada e vi a Lua virar Sol, já chorei por ver amigos partindo, mas descobri que logo chegam novos, e a vida é mesmo um ir e vir sem razão. Foram tantas coisas feitas, momentos fotografados pelas lentes da emoção, guardados num baú, chamado coração.
E agora um formulário me interroga, me encosta na parede e grita: 'Qual sua experiência?'.
Essa pergunta ecoa no meu cérebro: experiência. Será que ser 'plantador de sorrisos' é uma boa experiência? Não! Talvez eles não saibam ainda colher sonhos!
Agora gostaria de indagar uma pequena coisa para quem formulou esta pergunta: 'Experiência'? Quem a tem, se a todo momento tudo se renova?'

Struggles

"Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets."

That one person...

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Into the Wild

“I'd like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. 

If you want to get more out of life, Ron, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty. And so, Ron, in short, get out of Salton City and hit the Road. I guarantee you will be very glad you did. But I fear that you will ignore my advice. You think that I am stubborn, but you are even more stubborn than me. You had a wonderful chance on your drive back to see one of the greatest sights on earth, the Grand Canyon, something every American should see at least once in his life. But for some reason incomprehensible to me you wanted nothing but to bolt for home as quickly as possible, right back to the same situation which you see day after day after day. I fear you will follow this same inclination in the future and thus fail to discover all the wonderful things that God has placed around us to discover. 

Don't settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon. You are still going to live a long time, Ron, and it would be a shame if you did not take the opportunity to revolutionize your life and move into an entirely new realm of experience.

You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.” 

― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Stay or Leave?

As College applications are due, this decision is becoming more and more real to me. It's killing me inside. I want to stay. I don't feel like I am going to have enough guts to leave. What do I do? My friend Morgan gave me the ideia to write down my thoughts in a pros vs. cons setting and keep adding things as I go through with my journey. So here it is. I pray that I can find peace in my decision, and that God help me distinguish what is right for me and what path is in His mind. As of 10/22/13, as much as I say to people I want to go to San Diego, I don't see myself leaving. At all. I am too scared. But it's not just fear. It's more about the "why try to fix something that isn't broken?"... Why would I want to leave and start something new all over again if I am so happy here? Only God and I know how hard it has been to be away from my family... and then I am going to have to start it all over again. Without anyone. ANYONE. That's painful. I don't think I am that strong.

If I stay...

Pros:

1. Stay with him;
2. Get a place for myself;
3. Cheaper;
4. Everything I like is here!
5. Support system already established;

Cons:

1. Don't get to experience San Diego's life style and beach life that I so much love!
2. Maybe always think "what if"...
3. Take the risk to stay and not work out;





If I Leave...

Pros:

1. Best International Business Program!
2. Finally be at the beach again;
3. Great weather, beautiful place;
4. Experience new things, meet new people;
5. Get out of my comfort zone, grow personally and expand my horizons;

Cons:

1. More expensive;
2. Don't know anyone, no support system;
3. Chance of not liking there;
4. Far from him, possibility of wearing out relationship
5. Scared of something new all over again... not sure if I want to do that as nice as it sounds in theory.

Happiness.

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_happiness.html#zSwtmKhmCATvcT61.99

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=36071"Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you."

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=36071

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.

See more at: http://www.idlehearts.com/?p=36071

Zedd - Clarity

High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life

Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time

Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends

A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need

Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends

It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense

Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose

If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need

Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Why are you my clarity?

Why are you my remedy?

Why are you my clarity?

Why are you my remedy?

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?


-

Am I the only one still thinking about it?

A grain of sand

Rolling down the mounds of sand clusters of our life
breaking me down the grain of sand that is 
hidden essence of our life
the lifelong journey from one grain to unite and become as one pile of sand
is the way we work
and the way we live
Plain emotions that have no feeling
run through my head 
simplistic in your head
but when you try to leave them and let others see
you have to literally bear your fingers and untie the knots of the sticky words
as they roll of your tongue you see hesitation of your lips as you try to pull them back
and once again 
you are rolling down the sand mounds
but you are only a grain of sand
trying to explain
and translate your life
to the pound of sand

The duplicity of love.

Love can be scary sometimes. It can hurt. Such pain can bring you to the deepest bottom,  it can bring you to waters so deep you will drawn even before you ever reach the bottom.

But love can bring you to the highest mountains, you can fly so high you won’t even be able to see the ground.

Encountering both situations have gotten me rather confused than sad or hurt. I have experienced the ecstasy of love, as well as the black-and-white side of love, the one that reaps you apart without hesitating and deteriorates every hope in you.

One of the things that I wonder the most about this devious subject is: How does love – something so beautiful – can change into something so cruel, something that brings tears to your eyes, and darkness to your soul? How do people go from being completely in love, so enticed by the moment, to giving up on everything? It is almost like they have been brain washed. Gambling with love is a tricky business, and we always end up paying with our hearts.

The duplicity of love renders me spechless more often that I would like to admit. Truly, love is a double-edged sword - it can hurt you or inspire you.

When does one give up? Sometimes it's better to leave broken hearts broken than hurting yourself fixing it back together. How do we know the fine line between leaving and staying? How do we know when to say enough, when to say "I have given my all"? Or when do we say "this is worth it - you are worth the pain"?

I guess the answer for this question might be somewhat ironic... the answer is a personal observation and analysis of your own being and your own feelings. How profound, sincere, and pure is your love? Are you truly in love? Is your love selfless? To a point that you can give up on yourself for the sake of your lover?

I guess is just like how the Beatles once said... 

"From this moment on I know

Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love

Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's real love, it's real
Yes it's real love, it's real

Thought I'd been in love before
But in my heart, I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you"

That's when you know. 
We experience real love whenever we manage to love without expectations, calculations, negotiations, when we close our mouths but somehow manage to communicate in a hundred silent ways. As we live deeper in the heart, the mirror gets clearer and cleaner. And so does our lives.

Ellie Goulding - The Writer

You wait for a silence

I wait for a word

Lying next to your frame

Girl unobserved

You change your position

And you're changing me

Casting these shadows

Where they shouldn't be

We're interrupted

By the heat of the sun

Trying to prevent

What's already begun

Oh, you're just a body

I can smell your skin

And when we feel it

You're wearing thin

Oh, but I've got a plan

And why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

'Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it's too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

Sat on your sofa

It's all broken springs

This isn't the place for

Those violin strings

Oh, I try out a smile

And I aim it at you

Oh, you must have missed it

You always do

Oh, but I've got a plan

And why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Oh, why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

‘Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Interrupted

You wait

I wait

Casting shadows

Why don't you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don't you be the writer?

And decide the words I say?

'Cause I'd rather pretend

I'll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?

Why don’t you be the artist?

And make me out of clay?

Why don’t you be the writer?

And decide the words to say?

‘Cause I’d rather pretend

I’ll still be there at the end

Only it’s too hard to ask

Won't you try to help me?