I think a lot about home. The idea of home. What is home to me right now? When I spend a long amount of time without going back to Brazil, I miss it a lot and want to go back there. But then, when I am there, I realize I don't fit in necessarily.
Have I found home? What is Home? Is home a different idea to each person? My quest in life is to find my ultimate destination. Not necessarily to make a lot of money or be extremely successful. Just to find home, be home. I know the rest will come to me once I find home.
I will know once I find home. Is home with my PARENTS? When will I go back to them? I want to be near my parents so bad, and know that one day I will be, because they will need me. But, should I pursue my dream first?
Should I find home in love? They say if you follow your dreams, love will always follow you. Is this so? Because it surely doesn't feel like that to me. It seems like it's either one or the other. Love can be your dreams, and dreams can be your love. And both can be home. These two for me are in opposite directions.
I hit a little limbo stage, just waiting for things to change. Then I will find home. I hope this next year will bring some answers that have been clogging up my mind for the past 3 years and a half. I want to be home, so badly. Wherever that is. I just need to find it. And settle in. "Go or leave". "Come or stay". Is there a choice? I don't think I have much saying in this. The answer will unfold itself out sooner rather than later, I hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment