Where's everybody?

"Just call my name... and I'll be there"

??



Isn't it funny when you think you can count on a number of people in your life and you call them friends and hold them dear to your heart, but they end up disappointing you? When help is extremely needed, and those who CAN help don't, and end up disappearing on you, one by one?

No. It's not funny at all. Actually, it's one of the worst feelings in the world! Feeling like you don't really mean anything to anybody, like they don't really trust you, like you're not important enough for them to make a sacrifice for you.

It's moments like these that make me want to go home the most. There, I have my family who are actually THERE FOR ME; they are there to say "I'm in, I will help you my friend".

But no, it doesn't really work like that for me here. A lot of times I feel so lost here and sometimes forget the reason I started this whole thing. I try to remind myself... it is for my education. Is this really worth it? Is this how I want to live for the rest of my life? Away from my parents? It seems like things are getting SO SO much harder, day by day. It's becoming less and less worth enduring all this fucking struggle. 

I am done being here!