"If you fully believe that you need to say something, think. Give your mind a chance to take over your heart before striking out. This step might be a little hard at times, but you can do it."
Sometimes I wish there could be a job career that all you do was THINK. I would be the best one in the world. I think a lot of about pretty much every aspect of my life. Sometimes, these thoughts lead me to some much needed clarification. Other times, it leads me down to a black tunnel that will get me nowhere. This winter break might have been the most thought-provoking one (AKA overthinking). Interesting enough, these thoughts spark up by a small action done by either me or someone who is around me. It doesn't take much for me to think A LOT. It's almost like when you see your child sneezing and you think they have pneumonia. Yep, That's me.
Well, lately, I have been critizing myself quite a lot, and being very harsh to everything I do/say/think. Maybe that may be because I may not feel appreciated or that I may not feel like I am essential to anyone's life. So, because of that, my thoughts haven't really been the most positive...
Moreover, I have been thinking a lot about the future. That big word we hear since we are little kids, when our parents ask us what we want to do when we grow up. I mean, I ask that kind of question to kids nowadays, but not because I am necessarily interested in what they will become, but maybe they can give me some ideas on what I could be?! Ha. Well, I've grown up, and still don't know what I'm gonna do in life. I think this is more common than we think among people in their 20s.
But the future is actually catching up to me. It's almost here... in a few moments, fork in the road will be in front of me; and I will have to decide between two very different choices.
This overthinking and worrying may just be because I critize myself too much and I leave no room for mistakes. I am scared I will make a mistake in one of the biggest decision I had to make so far in my life. I always told myself to not have too high of expectations because I would set myself up for disappointment. Yes, I have definitely had my share of being disappointed... at myself and others. But you have to have high standards to get what you want and deserve in your life. At this point, I'm willing to take that risk... If I hold back, I am risking even more!
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